Tuesday, June 15

No eggs or sausages were harmed making this post

In lieu of my diet alteration, I decided to celebrate by starting my day off with one of my friend Megans preferred breakfast, Overnight Oats. They look so gross! :) It's surprisingly good and extremely filling. You just take some steel-cut oats, add some almond milk or whichever kind you prefer, and add a mashed banana (we also add flax and chia seeds) and then just leave it overnight in the fridge. Before eating, I stirred in some organic peanut butter and it was quite yummy!

I also treated myself to some Starbucks VIA. I gave up coffee, but it didn't give up on me! It's the best "instant" coffee I've had, and this is completely reflected in the price! However 8oz is just my serving size, and pouring a stick into a cup of water is the extent of my culinary prowess. So I may buy them more.

Monday, June 14

The Twon Diet

(A continuation of my last post)

This diet starts with exercise. I am going to be exercising 5 days a week as I was. I'm aiming for M-F as this best fits my schedule, but I'll squeeze a weekend day out if I need to.

These are the new rules on which I will do my best to adhere. It won't be that different from where I was, except:

I will be incorporating whole grain carbs into my diet. I'd like to incorporate whole oats into my breakfast, whole multigrain bread into my lunches and maybe some couscous or quinoa or brown rice into my dinners. There will be no regular pasta, no pizza, and no refined starches as much as humanly possible.

Sugar is still out. I don't like it, and I will only intake as much as I did on a low carb diet. (I'm not gonna freak over sugar in tomato sauce or toasted almonds, but no candy bars, soda, and deserts. Again, for now.)

I'm going to try to eat less meat, replacing with veggie protein sources. Hut I still don't believe fat is an enemy when eating correctly and will not by high-carb lesser fat things. But this is something I will tailor as I go along.

And as much as possible, processed foods are out and whole foods are in. If its something I buy in a plastic wrapper and shove straight into my mouth, I probably don't want it.

So that's that. I'm going to aim for 2500 calories a day (I'm a big guy) and hopefully work 400 or so those off exercising. I will not be a calorie nazi, but I will be calorie aware.

In an ideal world, I'd like to be able to use my common sense and knowledge to just eyeball food options and make the best one without weighing and counting everything, but I accept that that is the dieters burden. We shall see. 3 weeks.

And this is me, back on the horse.

and I come back to you now at the turn of the tide

Ok, so today is the Monday. The Monday when I decided I would renew my journey to being a healthier me.

I'll start be saying thank you for all the encouraging comments this weekend. With the R.I.P. of my MacBook, blogging interaction has been less than ideal and I figured y'all would have forgotten about me :)

Ok, so my bottom line of these past 2 weeks has leveled with having put on 10 lbs! What a nightmare. How hard one has to work to lose those 10lbs in 2 weeks, you'd think they wouldn't come back just as quickly as they left. Though that is what they say I suppose. But, glass half fulling it I'm still down 20lbs and have all the lessons I've learned the past 2 months to set me on the right course again. And with that, I'm turning this into an opportunity to revise my dieting plan!

It is something I had planned to do down the line, but given the current situation I'm going to give it a go now. I'll give it 3 weeks to be a wonderful success or a miserable failure, and if it ends poorly, then it will be induction for me again. I'm calling it the Twon diet, cause I like naming things after myself. It is not revolutionary. I'm just going to try and work some different dieting sensibilites into my diet pallet.

The main notable difference is I will be including some whole grains and fruits into my diet. This basically means ketosis is out and I lose my "advantage" of getting to eat til I'm stuffed at every meal and still lose weight. It also means I have to start watching my calories. These are big cons for me, but I guess I am hoping it will be a sacrifice worth making.

Saturday, June 12

lying in bed, just like brian wilson did

At the beginning of the week, I went to McDonalds. I ate it in my car in their parking lot. I ordered a McFlurry as well. I ate half of the dessert and was full. I ate the other half of it just so that I could leave the trash in my car so the neighbors wouldn't see the fat guy getting out of his car with McDonalds trash.

Sadly, this event represents this week past pretty accurately.

I'd like to say I haven't been deliberately avoiding you, blogosphere, but you know. Anyways, I've been staying late at work, barely gotten any exercise in, broke my laptop, and have been in a continued rut emotionally from last week. It is what it is I suppose. I ordered take out 3 times, and last night we went to Coldstone and I got a bowl of their new "Oreo Creme Filling" ice cream with crushed Oreo's in it. Yep. It was terrible. Never buy it. I lie to you for your own good.

I did not weigh myself yesterday, and you can't make me.
My scale is broken.
The floor is broken.
Gravity is broken.
My excuses are broken.
Just leave me alone already, dammit!

Fine. I gained 6lbs this week. Yeah, gained. *Sigh* Where do we go from here? Diet/exercise/me reevaluation time I suppose. 

Sunday, June 6

So what befalls the flawless? Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully. Now...

So I had a dream last night...

I was in this fancy new york skyscraper-esque office building, Except it had floors of college dormitories in it. I don't remember why i was there, I either lived in the dorms, or worked there, or both. But I was in an elevator. However this elevator was a huge utility elevator, much less quality; Paint everywhere, dirty, like a workshop. And in it there was there random wooden work table with a box of Cheese Crackers (cheese-nips I think) on it. And I had never had them, and I was hungry and I wanted to try them. So I looked around, and nobody was there, so I opened it up and ate some. But then after a handful I noticed some writing in black sharpie on one, it just some random numbers. After investigating further, I realized many of them had this writing, and I came to the conclusion that it was either A) some psychology test being administered to see who would give in to temptation when no one would know, or B) it was the dorm students trying to figure out who would steal their food when they weren't around.

Either way, I decided, there must have been a camera there...

Then the dream proceeded to be me, nonchalantly searching this elevator for a secret camera while business men in suits kept getting on and off. I eventually found what I thought was the camera, but then I set off an alarm and I was on the run trying to escape the building. And then I woke up.

Food. Issues.

Friday, June 4

So I can call just to tell them I’m fine and to show I’ve overcome the blow

In other less exciting news, I only lost 1 lb this week. Which brings me to 30 lbs total.

This week has been just crapfestpalooza. I've been in a bleh mood. I had yummy but deadly mcdonalds frappes and ate terribly for memorial day and its all just terrible. Terrible terrible terrible.

But, anyways. The only reason I lost anything this week is because I managed to keep my exercise routine on target. So my 7th week was a crap one. Fine. I'm gonna shrug it off and refocus. I think I may let the grouchy have one more day though. I'll blame caffeine withdrawal ;)

I haven't read my reader in like a week. There's like 180 things in there which is crazy as I only follow the like 30 people who follow me lol Chatty Cathy's you are!

Big Energy Kick-Start Finale

El Fin.

So the challenge ended on Wednesday (it's been a rough week).

However I am happy to report that I completed my 20 days of exercise in 30 days for at least 30 min! I'm excited to have finished. Now I can never exercise again! *muahaha*

Just kidding. It has been done grudgingly at times. There were days when it didn't end up happening at all. But in the end, I perservered and reached my goal. My only issue was this week I hurt my ankle :/ But its cooperating. I'm trying to give it a day or 2 to heal now.

But I know that exercise needs to be part of a healthy lifestyle and look forward to trying some new things in the upcoming months. I will certainly be keeping you updated!

So! How did you do with the challenge?

Tuesday, June 1

but is a brighter discontent the best that I could hope to find

Ok, so my Ex got married this week. I'm not still in love with him if that's what you're wondering. I mean, it's been like 6 years. I do have my questions... does he know his wife does not have a penis? It's not my fault I didn't fit into his plan to join the army and have a family and make his parents happy. And it's not his fault either, I suppose we all prioritize our dreams differently. You may or may not wanna hear that story, but not today. This is about me.

I think, at it's core, what upset me the most was just another glaring reminder of how much things keep barreling forward while I am just standing around waiting. I feel... well, I don't know what I'm feeling. I think that's what is bothering me. Being sad, and not knowing -exactly- why. It's not lingering feelings, stop thinking that. That was so last decade.

Whether the culprit or not, it definitely bugs me that when I get knocked down metaphorically, it takes me sooo long to get back up. I think I'm feeling incredibly weak lately. Weak, and sad. And it reminds me why I am so much better off alone.

There's quite a bit of contradiction in this -post-... myself. Forget I mentioned it.