A tl;dr prologue.
So this is my second concerted effort to lost weight with a lowcarb diet. My first came back in 2005. I lost 80lbs that time in what ended up being the perfect storm of weight loss. I had a spiffy new diet, I had a job that required a ton of physical activity, and I was dating someone I was in love with. Everything just kind of fell into place.
However things changed when he left for iraq. I came to realize that he wanted a life that I could never be part of, and we parted ways. The whole experience left me heartbroken and jaded. I decided I was not going to go through that again. And aside from a few speedbumps, I really haven't. But every safeguard, every protection, every comfort comes at some sort of price. And I guess I was always waiting for that moment, that epiphany, that person, or that experience that would all at once lift the veil and reverse those walls I built to protect myself.
But I've come to accept that life isn't a movie, and there isn't always one shining moment of clarity that causes big change. Sometimes, it's just small concerted efforts and a desire for change that are what can alter the path one has chosen to walk upon. I try to make my life a place of joy, and to find things to appreciate in every moment. I am not discontent by any means, I just feel like I should be wanting more. Contentment isn't all it's cracked up to be.