Monday, May 3

I started out clean but i'm jaded, just phoning it in, just breaking the skin

The most discouraging part of weight loss when you are big like the sun is that a weight loss that would be great for the average sized folk feels barely noticeable. I mean, I notice. But it's the reminder of how much further one has to go that makes me groan inside. Of course, I adhere to the mentality that I'm not working towards a goal of being my ideal weight, but am losing what I can. 10lbs lost is 10lbs I don't have to carry around every day! And even 10% is a noticeable difference in how I feel on a daily basis.

But to counteract my gloominess, my work pants are like 5 years old now and I used to have to wear one of those button extenders to make them fit. This weekend I did not have to. Small accomplishments.

But my lack of motivation today is fueling the ho-hums. I seriously need to clean my apartment, but am lacking the oomph. When it's just me and Halpert living here (my cat) I kind of slack off knowing no one will see it. I usually go to my friends places, their houses are more entertaining. But i need to do my chores, monday is my day off and my chance to catch up. I'm off to laundry now. It's the dreariness that demotivates I suspect.

I was eating my Willow Tree chicken salad this weekend and thinking to myself  "why are you *so* delicious? So much so then normal." It would be because they put brown sugar in it!! It's only 8 carbs for a cup, but this early I think i'll be getting store brand for a few weeks.


Al (losingharry) said...

That's why you gotta set smaller goals in my opinion. I set goals to lose 25-50 pounds at a time. If I look at the total amount that I should just looks unobtainable no matter how much I lose in a week's time. But if I lose 5 pounds and my goal is 50...I am 1/10th of the way.

Sharon said...

I can totally understand feeling overwhelmed with the amount of weight you have to lose. Take it one chunk at a time, like Al says. Set yourself a small goal and go for it. For example: Using my Wii Fit, I set a goal of 5 lbs every 2 weeks. Every pound lost is one pound closer to goal!

Also, keep noticing those non-scale victories. They are something to SMILE about! :D

Big Clyde said...

Twon, Al and Sharon are right. You seemed excited about the MayDay Challenge, so I am asking you to start the next one.

It puts us all on the same page. Challenge us to set a goal to lose a certain amount for the month, with regular report-ins. Then, we are accountable to you (and the rest of the group!). You know who won the MayDay Challenge? ME! Others lost more weight than me (and some lost less), but I hit my goal, which I likely wouldn't have hit without the accountability.

Maybe the goal is how many times we'll each exercise (however we define it). Your call, if you are the one setting up the challenge.

Just a suggestion...if you set it up, I bet we'll all join in.

Twon said...

Ok, you all win!

It is obvious a goal or challenge of sorts may be just the thing I need to get this party started, as it were.

Man, I hate exercise!

Let's try and change that.

Tricia said...

Several things:
1. UGH hidden carbs! Hate that!

2. Yeah man, it sucks when you have a lot to lose and it all seems so unsurmountable. Sure it's important to focus on the small goals, but once I lost 80 pounds and only went down one pant size, and I was WTFing all day every day until I finally just quit and gained back 100+. Stupid? Yes. But it's so hard to get the brain shit right when it comes to this weight loss junk. I need a diet that erases carbs and self-doubt... then things would be great.

3. Please tell me you named your cat after Jim.

4. We're doing this weight loss challenge at work and all my competitors are like half my size. So I come up and lose 3 pounds and people get all excited, but I'm like..."man, only 3 pounds?" My percentage is still behind, so it's way lame.

5. I just wanted to make this a round number, so I'll say that my apartment stays filthy because no one ever comes over and I'm lazy. It's another part of my life that seems like it's too much to ever be "truly" finished with. I watch Hoarders to feel better about my own crappy situation if that helps :)

Tricia said...

Holy crap, that is one long comment. Sorry!

Twon said...

@tricia I see your verbose comment and raise you a reply!

(NEVER apologise for commenting :) Feedback is delicious!)

1. I usually check my nutritional info everytime, but it didn't have any, but chicken salad!! chicken and mayo!! whoda thunk!

2. I will do that history post of mine someday, but I lost like 80lbs myself on a low carb diet once. it was amazing!! but heartbreak and emotions overcame me and I gave up caring. I buried myself in a delicious detached comfort zone and have never peaked my head back out. But I want to be healthy. It's at the point that i'm not "noticably fat" and not just your "average american" fat and i dislike that. :)

3. My cat is named after Jim :D my friend Megan suggested it, and I <3 Jim so it was decided. It's a cool different name. People who hear it enjoy the choice! He doesn't care. He thinks his name is "Stop!"

4. Yeah, percentages make it fair. 5lbs a week is what I want for awhile! that is manageable (for my size) and not terribly hard when i dedicate myself. last week it was 4. it was great and not great in the same breath.

5. I watched hoarders just last night! :) i used to be much MUCH worse with being a slob. now i'm a reasonable mess, not a "call health services" mess. I just live in fear someone will just "drop by" one day without being prepared :) i wouldnt answer the door lol