Saturday, May 29

They're trying to come back, all my senses push

My weigh-in was yesterday. I meant to blog about it, but I got stuck working 16hrs yesterday. Hence why I am unshowered, unshaven and look cranky at work this morning.

But aside from that, I lost 3 lbs this week! (29 lbs total). It seems that 3 lbs is just how it goes. I can't complain about that. It'll be 156lbs in a year if that stayed consistent. I just want NOW! Ya know?

I will go home and shower, nap, exercise, and then go to a BBQ where I may possibly sip from the forbidden cup of carb. We shall see. Have a good weekend y'all!

Monday, May 24

Big Energy Kick-Start Challenge


And we're closing in on the home stretch. I did, in fact, exercise 5 times this week past putting me at 14 out of 20 days exercised. 

I was telling Megan yesterday that I'm glad the wii fit tricked me into doing 20 days vs 15, as if I were only doing the 15, 20 would have seem like such a huge amount! However it really only amount to an extra day or so a week. I'm enjoying being able to move around easier, and having more energy, and my clothes fitting better. Also my skin seems clearer, I dunno if it's the diet or the sweating out toxins, or both. But it's cool.

Don't get me wrong, there are days I want nothing to do with it. And days I plan to exercise and then just don't. But starting is always the hardest part (of practically anything) and now that routine is forming it's less "OMG I have to exercise! Nevar!!" and more "ugh, just do it and get it over with". Not the "love" others share for the exercising, but if it weren't for this challenge I absolutely would have exercised -0- days this month. So there's love for that.

How goes your pledges for this challenge? Feel free to comment below or link your blogs and let me know!

There won't be post next monday, but next wednesday June 2nd. That's the last day of the 30 day challenge folks! :)

Saturday, May 22

this time, baby, I'll be bulletproof

Happy weekend!

I'll take advantage of the fact that no one reads blogs on the weekend to ramble. 

I used to be a caffeine addict. I used to buy 2 large iced coffees or energy drinks and bring them to work everyday. At one point, I brought a thermos full of coffee everyday. Then about a year or 2 ago, I found caffeine started doing terrible things to me... chest tightness, heart palpitations, inability to slow my heart rate when trying to sleep. I was also a pack a day smoker back then, and the Dr said I have some anxiety issues. Once I cut those things out, and realized I wasn't going to die everytime I had a panic attack, the situation resolved itself. Panic attacks that I never talk about for some reason.

Cut to modern day. I've been noticing recently my tolerance for caffeine has been increasing. Not that I'm dying to *need* coffee again, but it's nice have a latte once in a while and not be kept up all night.

I can't think of anything witty to transition to the next paragraph.

Has anyone had anyone from their past contact you from long ago, and you get excited to interact with the adult version of them only to find they are *exactly* the same person as they were before, as if wrapped in plastic wrapped and stuck in the freezer for a decade? Yeah. Personal growth, it's a good thing.

Friday, May 21

as part of a balanced lol-carb diet

Oh Friday, how I loathe thee and your scale of badness.
Well, this week I lost 3 lbs (26 lbs total). Same deal as last week, I can't complain. My weight loss is progressing nicely for the 6 weeks. But 5 lbs is kinda my aim every week (for now) as its acheivable, however the weekends keeps bringing me down. But not *this* weekend!

Thursday, May 20

Yes yes, we know, I'm awesome

One of my higher up bosses put me in for an "award" which consists of standing up in front of everyone and being told I'm awesome for doing something, and bestowed such luxurious gifts as a Tee Shirt (which might actually fit now), a $15 gift card, and a huge ass tub of Gumballs.

Now, I know it's the thought that counts, but what is a lol carber to do with 4lbs of gumballs!

Wednesday, May 19

but at night I'd had these wonderful dreams, some kind of sensuous treat

So I got to peruse the "New Atkins for a New You" book that came out 2 months ago last night on my friends Kindle. It's relatively the same, but there are a few changes, and they are most definitely notable.

The largest being the new inclusion of vegetarianism and veganism as options in the book. This is a huge shift for Atkins, the diet notoriously known as the "meat and cheese" diet. There have been Low-Carb veggies forever, but they were always the hippie subset who bended the diet to their needs.

But now they are acknowledged and welcomed. There are carb listings for all the staples; tofu, tempeh, soy meats and cheeses, quorn, almond milks, etc. The only recommendations are to make sure you're getting a lot of protein still, and to add fat to your diet ala fish, avacodos, oils and such. Fat is still necessary to the process. Plus any good veggie knows the key to turning rubbery veggie products into yumminess is oil and seasonings!

I've never been a fan of my carnivorous tendencies. Now nobody freak out, I don't care that you love your steak! Meat is yummy. Different strokes. I'm just saying that I personally am not a fan of the meat industry, don't like it's ecological implications, and will be glad to include more veggie substitutes into my "lifestyle".

Other notable changes (I noticed) include:

*3 cups is now 6 cups of salad during induction

*More vegetable choices are "all you can have" due to studies on vegatables and their digestion

*and lastly caffeine has been vindicated! It was once shamed for it's potential to cause blood sugar spikes, but given recent studies showing caffeine has notable health benefits the ban (that most ignored anyways) has been lifted.

Monday, May 17

Big Energy Kick-Start Challenge


In more inspiring news, I exercised 5 times this past week. That puts me at 9 out of 20 days, keeping me on target for my 30 day challenge!

Granted 4 of those 5 days were weekdays last week in order to stave off the onslaught of the prior weekend and still finagle some weight loss. I didn't get any workouts in over the weekend due to the wedding, and I slept over their house and such. But I certainly was moving around alot and not sitting on the couch watching tv for the weekend,  so maybe I staved off a few calories there as well.

I will attest that, while I'm still generally sore, I'm finding I have more "get up and go" from the exercise introduction into my life. This week I'm going to focus on intensity during my workouts and really try and push things, hoping my body will pull through for me on friday again and I won't have a sad weight gain from my weekend indiscretions.

So, how are *you* all doing on your challenges?? Feel free to comment below with updates or links to your blogs if you've updated on them there! Cheers!

if all you've got to lose alludes to yesterday, yesterdays through. now do anything you please

And, another walk-of-shame post.

This weekend we gathered and mourned the passing of my single friend Megan (into marriage). It was a grand time, and there was eating; Fancy resteraunts, catered receptions, eating eating eating. 

However, again, I don't feel bad for these things I have done. It wasn't a lack of willpower, a crippled buckling of resolve that afforded these grievances. I made the conscious decision going into them that this was a once and a lifetime event and I had plenty going on and I was not going to stress over the dieting. It doesn't forgive them, and in a perfect world I should have made more of an effort to manage them better. But I made a choice. And I know I'll see the repercussions of that choice likely on friday.

However, that time has come and gone. The major events are done, and my calendar is clear as the eye can see. And from here on out it is eye on the prize, commitment and motivation. I've allowed myself to be lax when I needed to, and now I will double my commitment and show you all the miracle of my resolve!!

(I don't know why this post was so dramatic)

Friday, May 14

tell them all I know now, shout it from the rooftops, write it on the skyline

Geez, I feel like I was just here! No more late night posts for me.

So this week I lost 3 lbs (23 lbs total). This is the greatest weight loss of my life! 

Now, if you weren't so polite,  you might say "Twon, that's the least amount of weight you've lost on any given week since starting your diet". But you have to understand that on monday, after the terrible weekend, when I stepped on the scale, I was +6 lbs! Cathy would say "Ack!" But, I ate awesome this week... and worked out everyday since then... and my body forgave me. Thank you body.

Now I'm off to the wedding weekend to try and not let the same thing happen again!!

"Every time a couple gets married, two single people die." -Parks and Rec

Thursday, May 13

A nighttime post. How fancy!

So yesterday I did something stupid. I totally wiped out the data on my Wii challenge. You'll note that the dates on my little chart here are wrong. It's because my wii thought it was still 2009. So, in an apparent bout of OCD, I was so annoyed by this that I went and corrected the year. "It'll be fine" I told myself. Nope. Erased all my data. Tried setting the year back... nada. I thought it might, but then again it might have been fine? I'm a gambling man. I guess I don't know when to fold 'em.

None of this actually matters. I'm still committed to my 20 workout days this month, and I'll finish it the next week as I don't intend to stop exercising once this challenge thing is over. (or I don't now I GUESS).

Tonight I went shopping for a wedding tomorrow. Being fat and shopping is the *worst*, I'm sure most of you would agree. It must be nice to just walk into any store and buy clothes. After the 3 day weekend of horror eating last week (did I mention it was *3* days? yeah) I'm prepared for my not-loss tomorrow. But I was really good all week, so I'm going to be forgiving of myself. And try and be better.

"You see someone running incredibly fast - The first thing you gotta ask is 'Are they running to something, or are they running from something?' The answer is always both." -Topher, Dollhouse

Tuesday, May 11

the sea is high and I'm heading into a crisis, chasing the years of my life

I'm 31 years old.

Well, not as of today specifically, in general. Depending on your perspective, I'm either young, old, or something in between. I side with something in between. It's been the running (based in fact) joke that I have / had issues with my age and being older, some of which have been more pressing as of late. So I'm going to talk on it a sec.

There are times when I feel like a 17 year old, and times like I feel like a 50 yeart old. But the actual circumstance of being older does not bother me. I realized when 30 happened that I was the same immature doof I was when I was 29. I am who I am, and age has very little to do with it. It's the ever shortening amount of time I have on this planet, however, that is the issue.

I like my life enough right now. It's lonely sometimes, and I would like some companionship (if it didn't cost me my soul). But I perpetually feel like that person who gets out of school; as if all the doors are open, and I can be whoever I want and do whatever I like with my life. And, to an extent, that is still true.

However, some doors close. And with everyone I know about 30 rushing to fill their lives with the things they want (marriage, houses, babies...) I don't feel the rush towards them. I always have a "there's plenty of time in life for those things" mentality, and I feel like those things would be great... someday. And today I say to myself that my life will be fine, even favorable in some cases, if I don't have those things.

But what happens when I'm 50, and I decide that I want those things and I don't have them. And then what if it's too late (for some of them)! It's that which worries me the most. And when this happens I say "Oh, whatever. I'm still so young. Don't stress over those things now."

But how long can I say that? When I've only got a 100 years to live.

Monday, May 10

Big Energy Kick-Start Challenge


Well, here is *my* update for the first week: A big part of my doing this challenge was wanting to do my EA Sports Active 30 day challenge alongside, however on Tuesday I could not find the knee strap that accompanies the game used to measure all your lower body exercises. So I just did the exercises as I remembered them and figured 1 day later wouldnt matter as I only committed to 15 days out of 30.

Wednesday however when I found my strap and started day one I was reminded that their challenge is 20 days out of 30. *grumblecakes*. So here's the rundown so far: 4 days out of 20 completed (officially). I make sure I get at least 30 minutes in, usually 40-45.

You're probably looking for a "Man, exercise is secretly amazing, I never knew!" or a "I wanna be a personal trainer when I grow up!" type of deal, but you will not be getting that here :) The most you will get out of me is "I like when Ibuprofen makes the soreness go away". But that's my week 1.

After this terrible eating weekend, I'll have to exercise 5 days this week and all of them before weigh in on friday!!

So, how was *your* week of exercise? Comment below and let us know how you're doing!! Or if you updated in your own blog for the challenge, drop us a link!

Sunday, May 9

Forgive me diet, for I have sinned....

Baby did a bad bad thing.

A bunch of us intoxicated folks were chaffered to the recently opened Sonic restaurant near our locale. (It's an hour away from me, thank god.)

Amongst other things, I got an order of these things. Chili Cheese Tots. Now some people will look at that picture and say "Eww, those look disgusting". While others will say "Mmm, those look delicious!". Well, you are both correct.

Will there be negative repercussions to these choices? Likely. Did I try and drink the memory of the food away? Unsuccessfully, yes. But it's something we've collectively wanted to do *forever*, so will I regret the experience? No. The picture is making me want more though. (Not *my* tots photo'ed. Mine were larger and inhaled.) I am going to be one angry camper Friday!

Saturday, May 8

Questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart

This one time, about 10 years, I stopped in a local restaurant (Friendlys... Greggs?) to use the restroom. The air freshener they used smelled so good I stole it off the wall and put it in my car. They never saw it again.

Love is weird.

Friday, May 7

No, I don't think I'll be revealing any personal truths about myself today

Weigh-in! Well, I managed to lose the 5 lbs I had hoped for this week. Which makes 20 lbs total. For 25 days, I'm ok with that. I wish it were a *little* faster, but I'm not about to complain.

This weekend will be another ketosis killer! Going on a trip to Sonic and Chic-Fillet tomorrow. I've never been to either of these places, and we've discussed doing it forever. So it shall pass on Saturday. Then a bachlorette party, which will involve me getting trashed on some Absolute Boston. I am prepared for a week eating lettuce and tofu to recover. Maybe the Energy Kick-Start Challenge will neutralize some of the badness!

Wednesday, May 5


I don't know what took me 3 weeks into a low carb diet to make a pan of Buffalo Chicken, but I have. Oh man, next to mac and cheese *cough* it is my favorite food in existence!! I'm gonna be eating it for 3 days, and I'm ok with that! I just browned it with red pepper and then added a bottle of Red Hot Buffalo Sauce. Burny deliciousness!!

it only ends once. anything that happens before that is just progress

A tl;dr prologue.

So this is my second concerted effort to lost weight with a lowcarb diet. My first came back in 2005. I lost 80lbs that time in what ended up being the perfect storm of weight loss. I had a spiffy new diet, I had a job that required a ton of physical activity, and I was dating someone I was in love with. Everything just kind of fell into place.

However things changed when he left for iraq. I came to realize that he wanted a life that I could never be part of, and we parted ways. The whole experience left me heartbroken and jaded. I decided I was not going to go through that again. And aside from a few speedbumps, I really haven't. But every safeguard, every protection, every comfort comes at some sort of price. And I guess I was always waiting for that moment, that epiphany, that person, or that experience that would all at once lift the veil and reverse those walls I built to protect myself.

But I've come to accept that life isn't a movie, and there isn't always one shining moment of clarity that causes big change. Sometimes, it's just small concerted efforts and a desire for change that are what can alter the path one has chosen to walk upon. I try to make my life a place of joy, and to find things to appreciate in every moment. I am not discontent by any means, I just feel like I should be wanting more. Contentment isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Monday, May 3

The Big Energy Kick-Start (part 2)

Ok, more on the Challenge (you can sign up on The Original Post). I will post on an update on  the next 3 mondays and ask for your updates as well, and the challenge will end on June 2nd.

Be sure to spread the word if you desire. The more the merrier! Happy exercising. (ha!)

The Big Energy Kick-Start

So I'm starting a Challenge.

You'd find the humor in this if you new me personally as goals and challenges are antithetical to the way of life I choose to lead. The idea of committing myself to a goal and being held accountable to it makes me squirm inside... because it means I'll have to do it. However, Big Clyde ( thinks it will be good for my character, or something. So let's do this!

I am vowing from today, I will exercise for *at least* thirty minutes 15 times in the next 30 days.
This seems like a reasonable goal, and considering that I exericise *0* days a week, it seems like a good start! It always coincides with the EA Sports Wii Active 30 day challenge I always say I'm going to retry and have yet to get myself to do. And one round of those tends to only be 20-something minutes a day, I usually supplement it with another exercise cycle I set up for myself.

So if you care set up a challenge for yourself, comment below and we'll do it together! The numbers don't matter, just something that challenges yourself. If I have to do it, so do you :P I'll try to web 2.0 it all after when I'm not on my cell. Let the fun begin!

I started out clean but i'm jaded, just phoning it in, just breaking the skin

The most discouraging part of weight loss when you are big like the sun is that a weight loss that would be great for the average sized folk feels barely noticeable. I mean, I notice. But it's the reminder of how much further one has to go that makes me groan inside. Of course, I adhere to the mentality that I'm not working towards a goal of being my ideal weight, but am losing what I can. 10lbs lost is 10lbs I don't have to carry around every day! And even 10% is a noticeable difference in how I feel on a daily basis.

But to counteract my gloominess, my work pants are like 5 years old now and I used to have to wear one of those button extenders to make them fit. This weekend I did not have to. Small accomplishments.

But my lack of motivation today is fueling the ho-hums. I seriously need to clean my apartment, but am lacking the oomph. When it's just me and Halpert living here (my cat) I kind of slack off knowing no one will see it. I usually go to my friends places, their houses are more entertaining. But i need to do my chores, monday is my day off and my chance to catch up. I'm off to laundry now. It's the dreariness that demotivates I suspect.

I was eating my Willow Tree chicken salad this weekend and thinking to myself  "why are you *so* delicious? So much so then normal." It would be because they put brown sugar in it!! It's only 8 carbs for a cup, but this early I think i'll be getting store brand for a few weeks.