Friday, April 23

trusting my soul to the ice cream assassin

So my mother is a problem. She is one of my biggest roadblocks towards weight loss. Just being around her causes me a weird mix of emotions that I'm quick to eat away. So it goes that our family affects us in a way that nothing else can, but I acknowledge that changing my behavior is only 50% of the solution. I'm going to have to try and change some of hers. Ok, I take that back. You can't change other people, but I can at least not let her bad choices affect me.

You think -I- eat for comfort or recreation!  She's very quick to say "well, we'll be bad today and eat terrible things and go back to doing better tomorrow". Which is fine occasionally, but she does it every week. She believes the lie of "tomorrow". I used to.

She just has a lot of sadness and loneliness, and so much of her personality has changed as she's gotten older (she's almsot 70). I guess I'm just scared of the inevitable loss of her (physically or mentally).

9 comments:

Sharon said...

First of all, 7 lbs this week is amazing! Secondly, I can relate to having the sabotaging mother. Mine is constantly baking and trying to send food home with me. I just have to say no to the way she "loves" me with food. Sometimes it hurts her feelings, but I have to put me first.

Big Clyde said...

Oh man...I have no advice for you here, other than to say that this must be very difficult and I am thinking of you. I am a new fan of your blog and it seems to me that you are working to figure out a bunch of the garbage that got us all big in the first place. That is great. Keep at it brother and take care of yourself. There is a reason why the flight attendants tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself, before trying to help the person next to you.

Big Clyde

Missa said...

I have had similar sabotage from my mother and other family members. You just have to come clean with them. Tell your mom that you can't do the 'tomorrow' stuff, that you need the house to be clean of the crap, that you need her support in a specific way, even if she can't do it for herself. It is sometimes a hard talk to have, but it will give some perspective.

Cheers,
Missa
LosingEthel

Twon said...

@Sharon I had already gotten to the point of throwing away some of the stuff she sent me home with. it makes her happy to give me the stuff, it doesnt mean i have to eat it.

@Clyde thanks! it is rough, but i've already helped her make some changes of her own, i just have to get her to stop giving in to temptation so much.

@Missa well my moms big thing is she has diabetes, and i've just got her to start making better food choices for herself regarding that. But now she like has these freakout moments of cravings for things that are really hard to resisit.

@Megan I'm not going to threaten to stop visiting my 70 year old mother because she cooks to much food. She is trying to work on it.

Psykochatter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Police Girl said...

Hi! I just stumbled onto your blog!
7 lbs is awesome progress! It's "biggest loser" weight loss!!
Keep up the great work:)

Twon said...

@PoliceGirl Thanks a lot :) well when you have like 150lbs to lose, it falls off quick! (in the beginning)

Tricia said...

As someone whose family makes me want to jump off a bridge at least twice a day, I can relate, and I'm sorry.

I know I got a lot of my bad eating habits from my mom, but I take responsibility for letting it get way outta hand. When my mom died eight years ago, it began a 100+ pound weight gain cycle for me that to this day still hasn't rightfully ended. If I were to give you any advice, it would be to seek some sort of therapy NOW for dealing with the inevitable hard times in life as we get older. I turned my depression inwards and it's still battling me every day. Maybe if I had done something to deal with the anxiety before it happened, it wouldn't have been such an anchor for me in the during and after phases.

You can only change your own life and hope the changes inspire those around you to do the same. I'm rooting for you :)

Chrissie said...

It's really funny my mom causes a huge road blog in my weight loss journey too. Mine seems to have this inner demon that is out to sabotage me. Good luck with yours!