Monday, March 8

chasing down every temporary high

We're not talking about a plan here. I don't have one of those.

But once in my life I came upon a philosophy that worked for me. I don't mean just in losing weight or exercising or what have you, but just in general lifeyness. That was the idea that I have a vast wealth of knowledge at my disposal about how to eat properly, exercise, be happy, blah blah whatnot. And since I hate making plans, I decided that I was just going to take each situation that I came across and make the best possible decision that I was able to make in the given circumstances.

This is a very forgiving philosophy mind you. It's not full of self hate, or anger or whatever negative things people use as motivators for change... this is just me doing the best I can. However I need to be aware in these situations. It's choosing a meal and not choosing the fried meat cheese. or maybe not choosing the large fried meat cheese if nothing else. It's deciding to not do the easiest thing *every* time. It's trying something new, being nicer when I can, it's cleaning more and exercising; maybe even for real someday.

But at the end of the day all it really means is caring. Because it's so easy to not care. Easy to feel like there's nothing new or exciting in this world, wherein comfort is the only true consolation.

I want to care again. I always did, but it's just the fear of disappointment...

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